Saturday, December 24, 2005
Merry Strawberry Picking Season! And a happy new year. Hello folks it's strawberry picking season over here in Taiwan. Night markets are filled with strawberrys for sale by the plate and basket.
Also, thanks to this strawberry picking season I've stumble upon a well kept national secret of Taiwan; Strawberrys go GREAT with condensed milk. Of course the strawberrys here taste great by themselves, for one thing they are sweeter than the usual stock we get back in Sg. The condensed milk just adds that edge to take away the slight sourness that the strawberrys have.
As of ....... aha! This moment it's just turned Christmas over here. And I have just celebrated it in my own little way at 15 secs (I had to find the file) pass the mark I played "The Chipmunk Song".
But enough of that I hope you all have a Merry Christmas. And for those who have been keeping up to date... TODAY is the day I release the Christmas list out in the full. The people who are this years " You impress me" list are (not in any particular order);
1. Joanna Hu
2. Samson Lam
3. Jonathan Teo
4. Isaac Low
5. Calvin Low
6. Chris Lim
7. Glenn Lee
8. Estella Low
9. Shu min
10. Moses Fu
11. Matthew Chern
12. Joshua Kim
That is all for now. Until I get REAL inspiration on something to write about.
Also, thanks to this strawberry picking season I've stumble upon a well kept national secret of Taiwan; Strawberrys go GREAT with condensed milk. Of course the strawberrys here taste great by themselves, for one thing they are sweeter than the usual stock we get back in Sg. The condensed milk just adds that edge to take away the slight sourness that the strawberrys have.
As of ....... aha! This moment it's just turned Christmas over here. And I have just celebrated it in my own little way at 15 secs (I had to find the file) pass the mark I played "The Chipmunk Song".
But enough of that I hope you all have a Merry Christmas. And for those who have been keeping up to date... TODAY is the day I release the Christmas list out in the full. The people who are this years " You impress me" list are (not in any particular order);
1. Joanna Hu
2. Samson Lam
3. Jonathan Teo
4. Isaac Low
5. Calvin Low
6. Chris Lim
7. Glenn Lee
8. Estella Low
9. Shu min
10. Moses Fu
11. Matthew Chern
12. Joshua Kim
That is all for now. Until I get REAL inspiration on something to write about.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Something I consider of paramount importance has happend today. Something I had expected to happend around this time of year though I was hoping it would be later so that there wouldn't be that many things on my plate.
An event that will change lives. Want to know what happend? Well I can't tell you, the other person in confidence would kill me.
... ...
No, I mean it.
.... ...
Not a thing
... ...
Okay just this once, one of my close friends has recently gotten involved with a significant other. I must express my tremendous excitement over the matter.
Someone no one would expect to get involved. Someone who has kept it in the secret for a while and in the works for abit.
Someone who many people would dismiss as some one who might be involved in the distant future but not now.
That's right it's ... Whoa caught myself there.
Friend if you are reading this now I want to you to know that I'm VERY happy for you. I hope it works out. I really do. It's nice have grown with you all these years to have you come to this I can't be more excited for you. I only wish I could have been there in Singapore when it happened. It weighs more heavily on me now than ever before that I'm away missing so much of the lives of the people I care about. Anyhow.
Always remember that if anything;
The 3 guys support you
The one from SAJC too
The couple them also
and the other three from school
(This is not meant to be a poem)
I'm sorry to the rest of it the above ( as in ALL of the above) is incoherent babble to the rest of you it's just spill over from my excitement and Joy.
Compare that with the post (of must lesser significance) and of rather bland literary taste. Which I had originally intended to post for today...
Plokim Phan and the Green Grubs of Hu Kou
Plokim walked around the Jeeps starting them up one by one ensuring that the battery didn't go flat when time came for them to move off. A boring job left to the lowest of life forms in camp but he didn't mind. The morning quiet was something he savoured, the riduculously cold night's chill fought off by the warmth that the morning sun brought in with all it's glory. A repetive task requiring little or no brain power which suited him just fine, seeing as it was early morning and he seemed to have left the better part of his wits back in the snug, warm protective covers of his bed.
He was presently attempting to start the last of the vehicles when a wasp swooped out from underneath bonnet of the jeep and took it's place in this story hovering in what Plokim hoped was a benign manner over his head.
Plokim didn't like wasps, bees or hornets especially if they were within a 3 mile radius of him. More so if they were hovering above his head, no matter however benign they may seem.
Plokim wasn't alone in the sudden intrusion of what he fore took was a quiet morning. X (whose name is really ELTON but might be reading this. Therefore names like ELTON have been changed to protect the identity of those involved).
X also noticed the appearance of the unwelcomed guest. Both scuttered back to the safety of the office and what one could only hope was a dignified and manly manner; to give the wasp a chance to clear off before they were forced to take REALLY manly action against it.
When they did return the wasp was gone. Of course their intent of returning to the area of incident was naturally to do battle with one of the worlds most potent primal insects. "It was wise of the wasp to flee before us" thought Plokim.
Sparked by curiosity as to what a wasp might be doing in the bonnet. X lifted the hood and found the reason the wasp had taken residence in the most un-stylish interior of the vehicle's bonnet; a nest. "Two nests actually," as Plokim pointed out to the author.
It then dawned on Plokim that it was up to them to destroy the nests of the wasp and prevent whatever it was in the nest from ever reaching maturity. Such heroic and noble thoughts often filled the mind of Plokim, along with it, thoughts of this incident turning into the sort of story that's told by the fire side to gullible grandchildren or being offered a multi million dollar Hollywood deal for the rights to this story.
That being said both of the characters in this story felt for the screwdrivers in their pockets ( any self respecting engineering specialist always has one handy) and prodded the nests to give whatever inhabitants of those nest a chance to vacate. Finding none, they returned to the workshop to procure a hammer and using it procee
*SMASH*
(Authors no*SMASH*te, please excuse my characters they really are*SMASH* nonviolent *SMASH*staff, it's just that*SMASH* they're really excitable*SMASH*)
After crushing the nest more times than anyone would have expected or wanted. X being the first of return from primitive fervor noticed that one of the nests was completely empty. No doubt a cunning plan of the enemy to increase the odds of the other nest surviving.
The twin of the empty nest wasn't empty at all in fact it was very full, overflowing even. Green wasp larvae crawled about in their larvae like manner, thinking larvae thoughts.(" Am I disgusting you when I wiggle like this? No? Okay how about this?....")
X then proceeded to pulverize the nest even more. Plokim looked on mouth wide in shock.
This is where the story abruptly ends and today's Jonathan's Gem begins.
Jonathan's Gem: Today's moral, life changing, universe altering lessons are;
1) Do not smash green wasp grub with a hammer no matter how satisfying the squishing sounds.
2) Do not stand around someone smashing wasp grubs with a hammer.
3) Opening your mouth in amazement or shock is a very bad way to express these emotions.
4) Squishing grubs is a cruel way to kill them, it is much better to leave them to preyed on and killed the way nature intend; by reality TV contestants.
And now for the lesson you've all been waiting to hear (don't deny it):
5) Green wasp grubs taste salty and corny.
That is all
Jon.P™
An event that will change lives. Want to know what happend? Well I can't tell you, the other person in confidence would kill me.
... ...
No, I mean it.
.... ...
Not a thing
... ...
Okay just this once, one of my close friends has recently gotten involved with a significant other. I must express my tremendous excitement over the matter.
Someone no one would expect to get involved. Someone who has kept it in the secret for a while and in the works for abit.
Someone who many people would dismiss as some one who might be involved in the distant future but not now.
That's right it's ... Whoa caught myself there.
Friend if you are reading this now I want to you to know that I'm VERY happy for you. I hope it works out. I really do. It's nice have grown with you all these years to have you come to this I can't be more excited for you. I only wish I could have been there in Singapore when it happened. It weighs more heavily on me now than ever before that I'm away missing so much of the lives of the people I care about. Anyhow.
Always remember that if anything;
The 3 guys support you
The one from SAJC too
The couple them also
and the other three from school
(This is not meant to be a poem)
I'm sorry to the rest of it the above ( as in ALL of the above) is incoherent babble to the rest of you it's just spill over from my excitement and Joy.
Compare that with the post (of must lesser significance) and of rather bland literary taste. Which I had originally intended to post for today...
Plokim Phan and the Green Grubs of Hu Kou
Plokim walked around the Jeeps starting them up one by one ensuring that the battery didn't go flat when time came for them to move off. A boring job left to the lowest of life forms in camp but he didn't mind. The morning quiet was something he savoured, the riduculously cold night's chill fought off by the warmth that the morning sun brought in with all it's glory. A repetive task requiring little or no brain power which suited him just fine, seeing as it was early morning and he seemed to have left the better part of his wits back in the snug, warm protective covers of his bed.
He was presently attempting to start the last of the vehicles when a wasp swooped out from underneath bonnet of the jeep and took it's place in this story hovering in what Plokim hoped was a benign manner over his head.
Plokim didn't like wasps, bees or hornets especially if they were within a 3 mile radius of him. More so if they were hovering above his head, no matter however benign they may seem.
Plokim wasn't alone in the sudden intrusion of what he fore took was a quiet morning. X (whose name is really ELTON but might be reading this. Therefore names like ELTON have been changed to protect the identity of those involved).
X also noticed the appearance of the unwelcomed guest. Both scuttered back to the safety of the office and what one could only hope was a dignified and manly manner; to give the wasp a chance to clear off before they were forced to take REALLY manly action against it.
When they did return the wasp was gone. Of course their intent of returning to the area of incident was naturally to do battle with one of the worlds most potent primal insects. "It was wise of the wasp to flee before us" thought Plokim.
Sparked by curiosity as to what a wasp might be doing in the bonnet. X lifted the hood and found the reason the wasp had taken residence in the most un-stylish interior of the vehicle's bonnet; a nest. "Two nests actually," as Plokim pointed out to the author.
It then dawned on Plokim that it was up to them to destroy the nests of the wasp and prevent whatever it was in the nest from ever reaching maturity. Such heroic and noble thoughts often filled the mind of Plokim, along with it, thoughts of this incident turning into the sort of story that's told by the fire side to gullible grandchildren or being offered a multi million dollar Hollywood deal for the rights to this story.
That being said both of the characters in this story felt for the screwdrivers in their pockets ( any self respecting engineering specialist always has one handy) and prodded the nests to give whatever inhabitants of those nest a chance to vacate. Finding none, they returned to the workshop to procure a hammer and using it procee
*SMASH*
(Authors no*SMASH*te, please excuse my characters they really are*SMASH* nonviolent *SMASH*staff, it's just that*SMASH* they're really excitable*SMASH*)
After crushing the nest more times than anyone would have expected or wanted. X being the first of return from primitive fervor noticed that one of the nests was completely empty. No doubt a cunning plan of the enemy to increase the odds of the other nest surviving.
The twin of the empty nest wasn't empty at all in fact it was very full, overflowing even. Green wasp larvae crawled about in their larvae like manner, thinking larvae thoughts.(" Am I disgusting you when I wiggle like this? No? Okay how about this?....")
X then proceeded to pulverize the nest even more. Plokim looked on mouth wide in shock.
This is where the story abruptly ends and today's Jonathan's Gem begins.
Jonathan's Gem: Today's moral, life changing, universe altering lessons are;
1) Do not smash green wasp grub with a hammer no matter how satisfying the squishing sounds.
2) Do not stand around someone smashing wasp grubs with a hammer.
3) Opening your mouth in amazement or shock is a very bad way to express these emotions.
4) Squishing grubs is a cruel way to kill them, it is much better to leave them to preyed on and killed the way nature intend; by reality TV contestants.
And now for the lesson you've all been waiting to hear (don't deny it):
5) Green wasp grubs taste salty and corny.
That is all
Jon.P™
Up close...
Smelly beancurd {score:1.3/5} Seems to be unique to Hu kou this smelly beancurd has some sort of salad down the center. no doubt to take the edge off the smell. It's not very pungent and a little soggy but still tastes great
The Mee Suah in action
Famous Ximen Mee Suah {score:2.2/5} Perfect consistency of mee suah not too gooey, loads of intestines, zero oysters, pork and pork shavings. So good i ranked it as high as bedok bah cho mee.
A hot plate set in Hu kou {score:1.6/5} It's got what (I guess) can be considered spaghetti, 3 pieces of pork chop, an egg, free flow of corn soup and green tea all for SGD 4.50. Yum
Herbal Chicken Set I had in Taipei {score:1.1/5} The chicken and the soup were very bland though the black thingy (that tasted like nonya dumpling) and white cabbage was nice. The mee suah was too under cooked; still chewy.
Not a good shot but you get the idea, crispy skinned tofu {score:1.4/5} crispy on the outside, soft and mushy on the inside. Highly addictive.
Cheap bread in Hu Kou night market {score:1.2/5} everything was decent from what I ate, and guess what each piece (including loaves) is 5 yuan that's about 25 cents in Sg,
Beef rice set at rest stop {score:N/A didn't eat it my friend did} Looks nice though
Beef noodle set at rest stop {score: N/A didn't eat it my friend did} Looks nice though
Bad shot of bad beef noodles {score: 0.8/5} has a musky smell and too much star anise.
Monday, December 12, 2005
So much has transpired over the last few days that I couldn't help but post a new entry.
For one I've just returned from a Christmas shopping trip in Taipei. I'm very glad to say that almost all the gifts ready. Scratch that out, what i meant was, all the things needed to make the gifts have been bought, now i'm ready to begin making them.
Amongst other things that I've gotten in Taipei are:
1) A digital Camera (So you can expect some photos up once i figure out how to do it)
2) More Naruto Gasphon (I seem to have a soft spot for them)
3) A cooler for my laptop (which i think is really cool because it can transform) ( From 1 fan to 3 fans)
4) Fatter (Lovely Mee Suah, mushrooms, Sze Char, Chicken, Beef noodles, fries ....)
Speaking about fries something happend today that really moved me. On my way back from Hsin Chu (We made a detour for some specific gift) back to camp I stopped by the usual fried foods stall to order a chui pi to fu (crispy skinned tofu) and fries. The auntie there over heard that I was going back to Heng Chun on wednesday and she gave us our order as a treat. This struck a chord in me, I've always thought of the Taiwanese (and chinese in general) as money grubbing monkeys albeit money grubbing monkeys with excellent service (most of the time), who are out to squeeze your leather wallet till it oozes milk. But this incident has changed my mind about them and also highlighting to me that i'm abit narrow minded in this area. By way of honouring her act of kindness and generosity I decided to mention this incident in this post AND eat the fried foods she gave me BEFORE my noodles (I now REALLY like noodles).
Anyone going to Taipei should note that toilets there are in short supply. (I realise from the last post that i haven't said my peace on this subject). Those that you do manage to find are at best disappointing. Case and point, in my initial trip to Taipei I searched the entire Xi Men Ting area for a toilet for the better part of 20 minutes. Fortunately I was able to find a Macdonald's that had a total of *ahem* one cubicle for ALL of it's patrons. I don't mind telling you that there was a pretty long line of 'hoppy', serverely agitated people.
Then of course there is the issue of finding CLEAN toilets. Which leads one to ask: What is the number one cause of such terrible standards in lavatory hygiene? Why are public restrooms in such a deplorable state? Why? Because of the public basically. Too many times have I come across someone else's "left overs", this is a form of generosity I do not approve of.
Then there are the toilets in camp. Considering that it's winter and that toilet seats are really really good thermal conductors, I find the phrase " freezing your butt off " not the slightest bit funny. The times when I do get the seat right after someone feels lovely at first ( I do not deny it) because the expected bite from the chill isn't there, then it dawns on me; this is someone else's butt warmth. Which is a very disturbing thought, which i force out of my mind by concentrating on the article at hand; Hercule Poirot (No it's not a euphemism for something else)
Amongst all possible toilet mishaps there is none in my opinion that can hold a candle to that of a toilet with the seat cover lid down. Typically several things cross my mind when I see a toilet with the seat cover lid down.
1) Why is it down?
2) Is there anything in there THAT bad that the previous user felt a need to hide it?
3) What kind of sick and perverse person would want to do this to another fellow human being?
There are times when I lift the lid (not before taking a deep breath first) and there's nothing more to be concerned about than pale blue fresh flush water. Then there are those other times when the contents ( I endeavour to put this across as tastefully(haha) as I can looks like a badly made prop, out of a very low budget B' movie, that not only didn't make it to video, but is currently in the employ of several top secret agencies across the globe as psychological tool of torture of the highest restriction.
I should move away from this topic.
My thanks to Pam who really put winter into perspective; she facing 0°C temperature over there. Suddenly 10°C just doesn't seem so bad.
Jonathan's Gem for today: A tip on managing anger against people.
Whenever someone does something bad or inconsiderate towards you which gets you boiling, particularly if they're unbelievers remember this : " They've only lived they're lives best as they knew how, even if they knew better. "
It might not always be true but i find it helps cool me down.
What if they are believers? You know what scripture says...
That is all
Jon.P™
For one I've just returned from a Christmas shopping trip in Taipei. I'm very glad to say that almost all the gifts ready. Scratch that out, what i meant was, all the things needed to make the gifts have been bought, now i'm ready to begin making them.
Amongst other things that I've gotten in Taipei are:
1) A digital Camera (So you can expect some photos up once i figure out how to do it)
2) More Naruto Gasphon (I seem to have a soft spot for them)
3) A cooler for my laptop (which i think is really cool because it can transform) ( From 1 fan to 3 fans)
4) Fatter (Lovely Mee Suah, mushrooms, Sze Char, Chicken, Beef noodles, fries ....)
Speaking about fries something happend today that really moved me. On my way back from Hsin Chu (We made a detour for some specific gift) back to camp I stopped by the usual fried foods stall to order a chui pi to fu (crispy skinned tofu) and fries. The auntie there over heard that I was going back to Heng Chun on wednesday and she gave us our order as a treat. This struck a chord in me, I've always thought of the Taiwanese (and chinese in general) as money grubbing monkeys albeit money grubbing monkeys with excellent service (most of the time), who are out to squeeze your leather wallet till it oozes milk. But this incident has changed my mind about them and also highlighting to me that i'm abit narrow minded in this area. By way of honouring her act of kindness and generosity I decided to mention this incident in this post AND eat the fried foods she gave me BEFORE my noodles (I now REALLY like noodles).
Anyone going to Taipei should note that toilets there are in short supply. (I realise from the last post that i haven't said my peace on this subject). Those that you do manage to find are at best disappointing. Case and point, in my initial trip to Taipei I searched the entire Xi Men Ting area for a toilet for the better part of 20 minutes. Fortunately I was able to find a Macdonald's that had a total of *ahem* one cubicle for ALL of it's patrons. I don't mind telling you that there was a pretty long line of 'hoppy', serverely agitated people.
Then of course there is the issue of finding CLEAN toilets. Which leads one to ask: What is the number one cause of such terrible standards in lavatory hygiene? Why are public restrooms in such a deplorable state? Why? Because of the public basically. Too many times have I come across someone else's "left overs", this is a form of generosity I do not approve of.
Then there are the toilets in camp. Considering that it's winter and that toilet seats are really really good thermal conductors, I find the phrase " freezing your butt off " not the slightest bit funny. The times when I do get the seat right after someone feels lovely at first ( I do not deny it) because the expected bite from the chill isn't there, then it dawns on me; this is someone else's butt warmth. Which is a very disturbing thought, which i force out of my mind by concentrating on the article at hand; Hercule Poirot (No it's not a euphemism for something else)
Amongst all possible toilet mishaps there is none in my opinion that can hold a candle to that of a toilet with the seat cover lid down. Typically several things cross my mind when I see a toilet with the seat cover lid down.
1) Why is it down?
2) Is there anything in there THAT bad that the previous user felt a need to hide it?
3) What kind of sick and perverse person would want to do this to another fellow human being?
There are times when I lift the lid (not before taking a deep breath first) and there's nothing more to be concerned about than pale blue fresh flush water. Then there are those other times when the contents ( I endeavour to put this across as tastefully(haha) as I can looks like a badly made prop, out of a very low budget B' movie, that not only didn't make it to video, but is currently in the employ of several top secret agencies across the globe as psychological tool of torture of the highest restriction.
I should move away from this topic.
My thanks to Pam who really put winter into perspective; she facing 0°C temperature over there. Suddenly 10°C just doesn't seem so bad.
Jonathan's Gem for today: A tip on managing anger against people.
Whenever someone does something bad or inconsiderate towards you which gets you boiling, particularly if they're unbelievers remember this : " They've only lived they're lives best as they knew how, even if they knew better. "
It might not always be true but i find it helps cool me down.
What if they are believers? You know what scripture says...
That is all
Jon.P™
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Yes you're right Glenn I suppose it is time I updated this thing.
Well for starters I've been smoking like a train.
Let me clarify that, the water vapour present in my exhalation has been condensing due to the ridiculously low temperature that I'm experiencing now. With that I suppose there's no point trying to putting the topic off anymore. It's way time I touched on the controversial topic of; the weather.
The weather in this part of Taiwan has just recently reached a disgusting 10°C. What this basically translates to is unfriendly people. The weather can only take partial blame for this, the rest namely because no one smiles anymore. Not outdoors anyway. Me being the friendly (and lying) sort of person that I am have tried to smile but the air here is so cold your gums hurt. Because of this phenomena most people will try to smile but just once.
Apart from breath there is the other issue of going to the bathroom with the intent of relieving one's self. The condensation from this process evokes mixed feelings of "cool" and "eww". Being the imaginative creature that I am, I can't help but play out the following scenario in my head;
(Okay I've changed this bit over after Daniel say he couldn't get it, and if Dan couldn't get it what more mere mortals?)
Captain (The captain of the fire brigade): " George! We need more water pressure! The fire's spreading! "
Woman (Whose cat is stuck inside a burning building): " Help my cat is stuck inside a burning building!"
George (A member of the fire brigade who needs to turn up the water pressure): " Captain this woman says that her cat is stuck inside a burning building! "
Clifford (The town idiot who somehow made it into the fire brigade): " We're here to save people madame I'm sorry we just can't risk climbing up there for you cat!"
Captain (who has a weakness for brunettes in distress): " Shut up Clifford! Don't worry ma'am! We'll save your cat! "
Geogre (who has an excellent life insurance policy): " Captain! I'm going for the cat !"
Captain : " God Bless Geogre! " (Fireman talk for " I'm glad you're the one going up there ")
Woman (whom now we know is a burnette): "Why is everyone talking in exclamation!"
A perpetual child at heart? Always.
Also the cold weather has been making it near impossible to exercise. Hmm maybe I shouldn't have leaked that out, but yes I've been exercising. Of course with this weather one can't help but feel discouraged when one exercises. Mostly because exercise in this weather has been confined to running on a treadmill (that has the suspension of a honeymoon duvet), which most cruelly lists your progress in terms of calories. How is doing this suppose to motivate a person? I am can be jogging for 1 hr, sweating pouring, out of breath and generally having my life flash before my eyes, look down at the end of my workout expecting to have burnt roughly the same amount of calories as the entire state of Nebraska in one year, when in reality (fanfare) I (fanfare) have burnt (fanfare) the equivalent of (fanfare) a (fanfare) cookie (Crowd gasps as one).
Now I bet you bunch are thinking (good then don't eat so much) but I assure you there are other more effective ways to lose weight, amputation for example,or God given bible shown methods of losing weight,leprosy comes to mind.
Alright I'm in abit of a wacky mood today I'll admit. I'll be back later to type something on my spiritual and emotional life. I've been hoggin the public com for a while and the training troops are here so i'll be back in abit.
Until then Jonathan's Gem for today;
Social Help: The next time anyone forces you to devulge a secret you really don't want to. Turn to face them look them straight in the eye and ask:
" Can you keep a secret? "
" Why of course I can. " or " You know I can"
" Good so can I. "
That is all
Jon.P™
Well for starters I've been smoking like a train.
Let me clarify that, the water vapour present in my exhalation has been condensing due to the ridiculously low temperature that I'm experiencing now. With that I suppose there's no point trying to putting the topic off anymore. It's way time I touched on the controversial topic of; the weather.
The weather in this part of Taiwan has just recently reached a disgusting 10°C. What this basically translates to is unfriendly people. The weather can only take partial blame for this, the rest namely because no one smiles anymore. Not outdoors anyway. Me being the friendly (and lying) sort of person that I am have tried to smile but the air here is so cold your gums hurt. Because of this phenomena most people will try to smile but just once.
Apart from breath there is the other issue of going to the bathroom with the intent of relieving one's self. The condensation from this process evokes mixed feelings of "cool" and "eww". Being the imaginative creature that I am, I can't help but play out the following scenario in my head;
(Okay I've changed this bit over after Daniel say he couldn't get it, and if Dan couldn't get it what more mere mortals?)
Captain (The captain of the fire brigade): " George! We need more water pressure! The fire's spreading! "
Woman (Whose cat is stuck inside a burning building): " Help my cat is stuck inside a burning building!"
George (A member of the fire brigade who needs to turn up the water pressure): " Captain this woman says that her cat is stuck inside a burning building! "
Clifford (The town idiot who somehow made it into the fire brigade): " We're here to save people madame I'm sorry we just can't risk climbing up there for you cat!"
Captain (who has a weakness for brunettes in distress): " Shut up Clifford! Don't worry ma'am! We'll save your cat! "
Geogre (who has an excellent life insurance policy): " Captain! I'm going for the cat !"
Captain : " God Bless Geogre! " (Fireman talk for " I'm glad you're the one going up there ")
Woman (whom now we know is a burnette): "Why is everyone talking in exclamation!"
A perpetual child at heart? Always.
Also the cold weather has been making it near impossible to exercise. Hmm maybe I shouldn't have leaked that out, but yes I've been exercising. Of course with this weather one can't help but feel discouraged when one exercises. Mostly because exercise in this weather has been confined to running on a treadmill (that has the suspension of a honeymoon duvet), which most cruelly lists your progress in terms of calories. How is doing this suppose to motivate a person? I am can be jogging for 1 hr, sweating pouring, out of breath and generally having my life flash before my eyes, look down at the end of my workout expecting to have burnt roughly the same amount of calories as the entire state of Nebraska in one year, when in reality (fanfare) I (fanfare) have burnt (fanfare) the equivalent of (fanfare) a (fanfare) cookie (Crowd gasps as one).
Now I bet you bunch are thinking (good then don't eat so much) but I assure you there are other more effective ways to lose weight, amputation for example,or God given bible shown methods of losing weight,leprosy comes to mind.
Alright I'm in abit of a wacky mood today I'll admit. I'll be back later to type something on my spiritual and emotional life. I've been hoggin the public com for a while and the training troops are here so i'll be back in abit.
Until then Jonathan's Gem for today;
Social Help: The next time anyone forces you to devulge a secret you really don't want to. Turn to face them look them straight in the eye and ask:
" Can you keep a secret? "
" Why of course I can. " or " You know I can"
" Good so can I. "
That is all
Jon.P™
