Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Yes you're right Glenn I suppose it is time I updated this thing.
Well for starters I've been smoking like a train.
Let me clarify that, the water vapour present in my exhalation has been condensing due to the ridiculously low temperature that I'm experiencing now. With that I suppose there's no point trying to putting the topic off anymore. It's way time I touched on the controversial topic of; the weather.
The weather in this part of Taiwan has just recently reached a disgusting 10°C. What this basically translates to is unfriendly people. The weather can only take partial blame for this, the rest namely because no one smiles anymore. Not outdoors anyway. Me being the friendly (and lying) sort of person that I am have tried to smile but the air here is so cold your gums hurt. Because of this phenomena most people will try to smile but just once.
Apart from breath there is the other issue of going to the bathroom with the intent of relieving one's self. The condensation from this process evokes mixed feelings of "cool" and "eww". Being the imaginative creature that I am, I can't help but play out the following scenario in my head;
(Okay I've changed this bit over after Daniel say he couldn't get it, and if Dan couldn't get it what more mere mortals?)
Captain (The captain of the fire brigade): " George! We need more water pressure! The fire's spreading! "
Woman (Whose cat is stuck inside a burning building): " Help my cat is stuck inside a burning building!"
George (A member of the fire brigade who needs to turn up the water pressure): " Captain this woman says that her cat is stuck inside a burning building! "
Clifford (The town idiot who somehow made it into the fire brigade): " We're here to save people madame I'm sorry we just can't risk climbing up there for you cat!"
Captain (who has a weakness for brunettes in distress): " Shut up Clifford! Don't worry ma'am! We'll save your cat! "
Geogre (who has an excellent life insurance policy): " Captain! I'm going for the cat !"
Captain : " God Bless Geogre! " (Fireman talk for " I'm glad you're the one going up there ")
Woman (whom now we know is a burnette): "Why is everyone talking in exclamation!"
A perpetual child at heart? Always.
Also the cold weather has been making it near impossible to exercise. Hmm maybe I shouldn't have leaked that out, but yes I've been exercising. Of course with this weather one can't help but feel discouraged when one exercises. Mostly because exercise in this weather has been confined to running on a treadmill (that has the suspension of a honeymoon duvet), which most cruelly lists your progress in terms of calories. How is doing this suppose to motivate a person? I am can be jogging for 1 hr, sweating pouring, out of breath and generally having my life flash before my eyes, look down at the end of my workout expecting to have burnt roughly the same amount of calories as the entire state of Nebraska in one year, when in reality (fanfare) I (fanfare) have burnt (fanfare) the equivalent of (fanfare) a (fanfare) cookie (Crowd gasps as one).
Now I bet you bunch are thinking (good then don't eat so much) but I assure you there are other more effective ways to lose weight, amputation for example,or God given bible shown methods of losing weight,leprosy comes to mind.
Alright I'm in abit of a wacky mood today I'll admit. I'll be back later to type something on my spiritual and emotional life. I've been hoggin the public com for a while and the training troops are here so i'll be back in abit.
Until then Jonathan's Gem for today;
Social Help: The next time anyone forces you to devulge a secret you really don't want to. Turn to face them look them straight in the eye and ask:
" Can you keep a secret? "
" Why of course I can. " or " You know I can"
" Good so can I. "
That is all
Jon.P™
Well for starters I've been smoking like a train.
Let me clarify that, the water vapour present in my exhalation has been condensing due to the ridiculously low temperature that I'm experiencing now. With that I suppose there's no point trying to putting the topic off anymore. It's way time I touched on the controversial topic of; the weather.
The weather in this part of Taiwan has just recently reached a disgusting 10°C. What this basically translates to is unfriendly people. The weather can only take partial blame for this, the rest namely because no one smiles anymore. Not outdoors anyway. Me being the friendly (and lying) sort of person that I am have tried to smile but the air here is so cold your gums hurt. Because of this phenomena most people will try to smile but just once.
Apart from breath there is the other issue of going to the bathroom with the intent of relieving one's self. The condensation from this process evokes mixed feelings of "cool" and "eww". Being the imaginative creature that I am, I can't help but play out the following scenario in my head;
(Okay I've changed this bit over after Daniel say he couldn't get it, and if Dan couldn't get it what more mere mortals?)
Captain (The captain of the fire brigade): " George! We need more water pressure! The fire's spreading! "
Woman (Whose cat is stuck inside a burning building): " Help my cat is stuck inside a burning building!"
George (A member of the fire brigade who needs to turn up the water pressure): " Captain this woman says that her cat is stuck inside a burning building! "
Clifford (The town idiot who somehow made it into the fire brigade): " We're here to save people madame I'm sorry we just can't risk climbing up there for you cat!"
Captain (who has a weakness for brunettes in distress): " Shut up Clifford! Don't worry ma'am! We'll save your cat! "
Geogre (who has an excellent life insurance policy): " Captain! I'm going for the cat !"
Captain : " God Bless Geogre! " (Fireman talk for " I'm glad you're the one going up there ")
Woman (whom now we know is a burnette): "Why is everyone talking in exclamation!"
A perpetual child at heart? Always.
Also the cold weather has been making it near impossible to exercise. Hmm maybe I shouldn't have leaked that out, but yes I've been exercising. Of course with this weather one can't help but feel discouraged when one exercises. Mostly because exercise in this weather has been confined to running on a treadmill (that has the suspension of a honeymoon duvet), which most cruelly lists your progress in terms of calories. How is doing this suppose to motivate a person? I am can be jogging for 1 hr, sweating pouring, out of breath and generally having my life flash before my eyes, look down at the end of my workout expecting to have burnt roughly the same amount of calories as the entire state of Nebraska in one year, when in reality (fanfare) I (fanfare) have burnt (fanfare) the equivalent of (fanfare) a (fanfare) cookie (Crowd gasps as one).
Now I bet you bunch are thinking (good then don't eat so much) but I assure you there are other more effective ways to lose weight, amputation for example,or God given bible shown methods of losing weight,leprosy comes to mind.
Alright I'm in abit of a wacky mood today I'll admit. I'll be back later to type something on my spiritual and emotional life. I've been hoggin the public com for a while and the training troops are here so i'll be back in abit.
Until then Jonathan's Gem for today;
Social Help: The next time anyone forces you to devulge a secret you really don't want to. Turn to face them look them straight in the eye and ask:
" Can you keep a secret? "
" Why of course I can. " or " You know I can"
" Good so can I. "
That is all
Jon.P™
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