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Friday, November 25, 2005

I suppose it is about time I introduced you the individuals that have come to contribute greatly to my life over the last 2 months or so. Individuals that have helped to shape and mold me and my character into what it is today. That's right I'm talking about the dogs from camp.

I personally am more of a cat person. But there seems to be a serious shortage of cats in Taiwan. Most of the locals here seem to prefer dogs. I wonder why? Dogs have always seemed abit dull to me, not unlike being in a constant state astonishment( WOW! A rock! I've never seen that before! Better go sniff that. WOW! Another rock!...). Unlike cats, who always appear to have a certain zen calm about them. Why by way of comparison between the two just imagine them as dinner guests with you sitting at the opposite end of the table.

The cat sitting with all serenity in the world and his uncle, slender body propped up by her velvet paws, eyes wide and attentive. Leaving the poached salmon with truffles and a squeeze of lemon un touched. Patiently waiting for the next course to arrive, because you blew it, you totally forgot that kitty
hates lemon and kitty never eats anything with a squeeze of lemon.

The dog at this point of time would be attempting to scale the table to get to you. Dishes come sliding off the table as the clumsy canine culinary criminal fantically tries to reach you across the room via the most direct route. The thought of getting off his seat and walking towards you way beyond his limited intellect. He reaches your end and without warning, expresses his romantic interests in your leg. Despite your efforts to get him to heel, your shouting and hand waving only spurs him on.

The cat in the midst of all this hullabaloo, starts taking haughty sniffs at the remainder of the food set in front of her before taking nibbles out of choice spots, carefully avoiding the truffles and lemon. In between mouthfuls she watches you with sincere apathy (or if your cat is the sort that has had the *snip* *snip*, bewilderment).

The dog, satisfied with his romeo-like exploits sits down beside your chair and begins to clean his more intimate regions with his tougue. Yes the same tougue that licks you on the face when you get home. That SAME tougue that shares the ice-cream spoon with you. You sit in a crumple heap, shirt tucked, rolled up newspaper in hand. And two things dawn on you, first why on earth are you having pets as dinner guests and secondly as far as pets go you really really want a LARGE python.

But I digress. There are basically 3 dogs worthy of notice in this camp. A sandy brown mutt with mild wolf-like features (Submissive), a patchy black one with a squashed face (Bo Bo), and a long haired black one with brown streaks( Untouchable). Of the three, we (the workshop people) tend to socialise with Submissive the most. Submissive being so called because he is... well submissive. Bo Bo being the Alpha male. And untouchable well named because no one has been able to come into contact with her.

Dog: Submissive

Rxtion to newcomers: Brings head very low to the ground and sort of crawls towards you.

Behavior: Generally speaking Submissive will let you do anything to him, and i do mean anything. For example he's been dragged across the entire workshop floor by just his paw and at the end of it still retained his dog-like "huh?" attitude. Others in the workshop handle him in a more disturbing manner. Typically (how to put this for the younger audiences) some of them make the dog VERY happy. Which explains why when i first met Submissive his first reaction was to crawl up to me, lie down on the floor belly up and part his hind legs. I have since endeavoured to correct this behavior though it is hard seeing as how other members seem to find stimulating a canine very entertaining.

Dog: Bo Bo
Rxtion to newcomers: Being the alpha male Bo Bo naturally feels the need protect his territory. For this reason he barks at new comers and will keep barking and you for as long as it takes until you say the password.
What is this password? Listen carefully I shall only say this once, Bo Bo. Yes that's right just call him Bo Bo and he'll leave you alone.

Behavior: Which believe me you'd want him to. You see Bo Bo smells, not like a little doggy smell, but pungent funkafied dog. The kind of stench that sends birds in the air (not that there are any since winter is coming) plummeting to the ground kamakazi style, the kind of stench that pulls planes out of the air and brings traffic to a grinding halt. I have my suspicions that Bo Bo is a top secret military trained guard dog solely responsible for the safety of this camp. In fact I'm pretty sure of it no human spy can endure such nasal brutality. No offense Bo Bo (if you're reading this post) but maybe in the doggy world the scent you carry is hubba hubba for the lady dog friends of yours. But please, for humanity's sake, take a bath.

Being the Alpha male is not without risks. Bo Bo has his share of battle scars. One on the face and one on the butt. Yes you read me right, the butt, the center of gravity, the burdensome buns, the End that is near, the butt. No doubt from some internal squabble between him and his lady friends. Which is abit sad, seeing the wound you almost want to get closer to him to inspect and treat it, almost.

As for the last Dog no one really knows anything about her. She just doesn't let anyone approach her. We've tried everything to tempt her, food, alcohol, Bo Bo, Bo Bo with food and alcohol but nothing.

That is all for the dogs. I wish i could say i have some else important to do to excuse myself from extending the already considerable length of this post, but i don't. It's friday and i've been forced to take an OFF today. I've spent the entire day looking for anime to watch, playing maplestory (and getting bored of it VERY fast) and reading other blogs.

I am including another constant for my posts. I will include at the end of every post a phrase or fact from the vastness of my great wisdom, knowledge and imagination to spur you all on and enrich your lives.

Today's Jon's Gem: Monkeys are rich in Vitamin C go out there and grab one today!

That is all
Jon.P

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I'm SICK of Doritos...

I REALLY LOVE Doritos...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I LOVE Doritos.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Hello just did this quiz thingy online.
An excellent way to justify my choice in uni subjects.
But is it true of me?
hmmm.

http://www.blogthings.com/mbtiquiz/

Your #1 Match: ISFP
The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #2 Match: INFP
The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #3 Match: ISFJ
The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #4 Match: INFJ
The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #5 Match: ESFP
The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor

P.S I stole the link from Dan's site MUAHAAHA

Friday, November 18, 2005

It's five in the afternoon but it feels like eight. Burdened pewter clouds carpet the skies, luminated by skyscrapers and city lights. Couples link arms, hold hands and pull each other close for warmth against icy winds that sweep through red bricked streets. In the parks that dot the central, lovers snuggle up on park benches, stealing kisses in the dark. On a street corner an old woman sells candy from a scratched plastic tray. A rusty brown cardigan that must have once been red provides little protection from the cold for her. Wrinkled hands jiggle the tray hopefully, head bowed low, eyes fixed on her shoes avoiding contact. she sways side to side whispering secret things to herself as she plies her trade. Strays dogs roam the streets, friendly but wary of any strangers. Too often has supposed kindness ended in a harsh beating for them. Me? I checked into a seedy hotel.

-

That's right i can't resist anymore i've decided the revive my blog. Given that i don't have my laptop yet despite my recent trip to taipei (My overseas daily overdraft credit wasn't high enough). I've decided to use the good ol' fashioned 10 yuan coin to make it happen.

For those of you who don't already know i'm in taiwan now. Serving a one year overseas posting for my NS liability. I was originally sent to a camp near the south but as of now i'm in Hu Kou to support one of frames for december. For those of you who didn't catch that, join the army. The last frame just ended last week so for now i get 4 days off seeing as how my weekends where shortened whilst they were here.

From the first paragraph you might have guessed, i've just been on a trip to taipei to engage in one of my favourite sports; shopping! Some of you out there might not consider shopping a sport. Most respectly i must call you a git. Of course it's a sport! Think about it, bargain hunting, the thrill of the chase, one shop to another, bargaining, comparing shop prices, split second timing, clock work schedules, escalator dashes, synchronised shopping, tag team shopping. It's a mental game too, the outsmarting of shopkeepers, the waiting game, the coy words, classic moves and fits of fury.

Rather than say soccer which seems to me to be just an excuse for grown ups of the same gender to touch each other. Have you ever seen what happens when a person scores a goal? Most of the team ends up on top of that one person. Of course some say it's all in the excitement of scoring a goal. Or so we think. Seeing as how we never get to see what goes on in their heads, for all we know this could be going on:

Person who scores goal: "Yea! They're going to touch me!"

Team members nearby: "Yea! We get to touch him!"

Team members faraway: " !@#$% coach i TOLD him i didn't want to be defender..."

(Also note how grumpy every other player looks while no one is scoring goals)

Need I mention what happens when a player falls down for the slightest reason (e.g. an air molecule or sweat drop from an opposing players crashes into them).

Person after a near death air molecule collision : " Oh my! I'm dying! Ah, ah! I can see a tunnel! It's getting cold! Tell Laura I love her! Ah ah! It's coming! The baby's coming!"

But I digress. So i've been to taipei with some of my camp people who were kind enough to show me around the place. And it is a lovely place, plenty of sight seeing to be done, loads of shopping and excellent food. The Macdonalds here have horrible service I waited a total of 30mins for 1 big mac and that was WITHOUT a queue. But that was towards the end of the day and i really didn't have the energy to raise hell.

So this is what i did in taipei:

1. I window shopped
1.1 I bought a nice new wallet
1.2 I bought loads of anime gasphon
1.3 I bought a traditional chinese seal with my name on it
1.4 I bought 4 magic hot/cold bags (very cool), one of which was spoilt
1.5 I bought Christmas presents for this year's list

2. I watched Harry Potter and the goblet of fire
2.1 I love Emma Watson
2.2 Daniel whazzit-name 's acting has improved... ... marginally
2.3 I hated the directing though i can't expect them to film the thing true to the book
2.4 Taipei has great cinema seats

3. I ate the most lip smacking mee suah
3.1 There are no oysters
3.2 It's mostly all pork
3.3 They add those thin shavings of pork like those in tacopachi
3.4 Yum
3.5 It's so good that people are willing to eat standing up (there are no chairs)
3.6 It's SGD$1.50 a pop

4. I had Malah Hot pot for dinner
4.1 I don't like malah hot pot

Oh yes if you've noted I mentioned a christmas list. I've been looking out christmas presents for christmas already. This year's theme is: " You impress me". Which has little to do with how close i am to the person so long they've impressed me. Which differs from previous year's theme most of which featured my closer friends. Of course there are some close friends include mongst there but still there are a number of people i would never consider in my christmas list e.g. Matthew. Yup, I'll have the list soon enough and more on my taipei trip. Stuff on that seedy hotel, train stations, donuts, how no one in taipei seems to know how to spell the word "video".

In abit
Jon.P

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